A Comfortable Couch

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Feeling better

Thanks everyone for the kind words of encouragement. My post Discouraged was how I was feeling the past couple of days. It was actually an excerpt from an email I sent to Ned. He is a good friend and mentor and one the smartest guys I've ever met. Ned had emailed me there were more layoffs at Kubi, and in my response to him I spilled my guts about my own trials. It's hard to put this stuff on my blog, when writing it I'm thinking about how everyone will judge it. I'm so guarded, even at a subconscious level, the words won't come. But it was easier to write this stuff to Ned, he knows me and where I'm coming from and won't judge me unfairly. Once I had it written down, I realized it was something I should post.

It feels dishonest to only post the good stuff. If things aren't going right, which is often, then I think I should let you know it. To what end, I'm not really sure. But I think maybe if I'm honest about what I'm going through, it will help someone else to keep following their dreams when they get discouraged, they'll see that others hit the same things. Or maybe it will scare people off from even trying. I really don't know, but I think hiding the bad stuff can't be a good thing.

Everyone's encouragement really helped. My attitude is better, but the situation is the same. We need to sell our house soon or I need to get some more contract work. Thing is, I don't really know how to go about getting contract work, particularly short term contract work. Recruiters understandably don't deal with short term contracts, there's not much money in it for them. If anyone has any pointers or advice I would be most appreciative.

Anyway, thanks Julian Robichaux, Thomas Duff and Richard Schwartz. And a huge thanks to Ned for calling and giving me a pep talk. It really helps me feel like I'm not crazy, that following dreams isn't stupid.

But more than anyone, thank you Laura, I love you very much.


Anonymous said...

People have differing views on "sharing the bad stuff". For those who want their site to be pure technical material, there's no personality beyond their writing. For those of us who mix tech and personal, it's more a sharing of ourselves rather than just what we know.

For instance... I struggled with dysthymia (chronic low-level depression) and finally took some steps to deal with it last year. Medication made a word of difference for me, and I shared that on the blog. The outpouring of support was incredible, and others were encouraged that they weren't the only ones going through that. The argument could be made that I exposed something that could come back and bite me later on. If so, oh well... I helped others, and I felt good about it. Your sharing will help others in your same situation...


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