A Comfortable Couch

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Deep Fried Candy Bars Illustrated

Yes, Virginia, they really do fry candy bars. But this time, it’s not Americans who are pioneering new ways to slowly kill yourself, it’s the Scots (note to self, Scotland rules), and it’s got public health people all up in arms about how it's killing the baby Jesus. Of course that meant I had to try it for myself.

There are a surprising number of recipes for it, and when I saw this one a random synapse fired and I clicked "print" and from there I went. Most recipes call for a Milky Way bar, which in Scotland (and all of Europe I suppose) is called a Mars bar. And no, I don't know what they call our version a Mars bar, a Royale with Nougat maybe? Anyway, I really don't like Milky Way bars so much, they are too sweet. Most recipes say a Snickers bar is an acceptable substitute, which I really like. When I went to the store to buy my candy bar I decided I wanted something a little more upscale, so I opted for the almond upgrade.

Here it is in the wrapper. A pre-refrigerated Snickers Almond Bar with NFL cross-promotion. Not real exciting yet.

And here it is naked and waiting, the chocolate ripples raised across the top in anticipation of being eaten. But not yet my sweet, I have special plans for you.

A quick dip in the batter...

And dropped into the peanut oil. This is a T-Fal Pro Fry my wife got me for my birthday. I love that woman.

Fried until golden brown. It's hard to tell in this photo but this is golden brown. It takes less than a minute. The chocolate ripples across the top are quite pronounced and peeking through. I feel naughty.

Here it is cut open. They say that real food doesn't photograph well, that it comes out lifeless and dull. I'd say so, as the picture above can't do justice to how this looks in real life. It's piping hot and glistening on the outside, the chocolate is gooey, and the middle is nicely cool. It smells absolutely terrific, like chocolate chip cookies.

So how did it taste? Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh baby. It didn't taste greasy or oily, the taste, smell and experience are similar to eating hot-out-of-the-oven cookies or brownies, but turned up to 11. I was really surprised how good it is, and a little worried. I think Laura said it best "I was hoping this wouldn't be good... it seems wrong somehow to enjoy this." Yup, it feels like it's dangerous, like if I'm not careful I might become a 1000 lb. housebound addict and have to be buried in a piano case someday. But I'm willing to risk it, I like to live dangerously.

Me, just before my insulin coma.

Next Week: Fried Strawberries


Anonymous said...


You are absolutely crazy...
I miss you :)


4:56 PMlink  
Anonymous said...

You look like a Coprophiliac!


5:28 PMlink  
Damien said...

As I was looking over the photos we took of me all chocolately, I realized that when viewed in sequence they seem to tell a story. Not a very good story, but a certainly a story of some sort.

6:03 PMlink  
Damien said...

Oops here's the link http://www.flickr.com/photos/59089495@N00/sets/135468/

6:08 PMlink  
Anonymous said...

Get a gassmask and some boobs and post yourself on usenet!


6:40 PMlink  
Damien said...

Ronnie, your knowledge in these matters is beginning to concern me.

If you wish to see it as poo on my face, then so be it.

7:56 PMlink  
Declan Lynch said...

Yes, what the Americans call a Milky Way is known as a Mars Bar over here in Ireland and also in the UK.

Scotland is well know for deep fried mars bars, i've tasted them and the only way to describe them is wow. No wonder those scots have the highest heart failure rate in Europe.

Now your next trick is to try haggis :-)

8:07 PMlink  
Anonymous said...



10:42 PMlink  
Anonymous said...

hehehe...damien the funny geek...:)

12:38 AMlink  
Colin said...

Theres a fish and chip shop down the road that doesn't sell these but are more than happy to fry them up if you turn up with a "Moro" bar (tis like a "Mars").

I've seen plenty of people do just this but never tried it myself...now you have me wondering why I haven't tried them!?

4:17 AMlink  
Anonymous said...

Right. Thats it. I'm jockanese and very very amused that you actually did it!

So. Big respect. Not only have you greatly amused me with this, but impressed the hell out of me with the @Formula language engine stuff.

So here's a one-time offer. I'll host your "poo poetry" site for you, for free...

---* Bill

7:34 AMlink  
Herbert said...

You live a dangerous life man! :-)

11:29 AMlink  
Damien said...

Bill, thanks a ton for the offer! I'm mailing you now...

12:32 PMlink  
Anonymous said...

Poo Poetry über alles!


3:02 PMlink  
Anonymous said...

From the home of the deep fried Mars Bar - Scotland.....
.... the claim of a chip shop in Stonehaven (15 miles from me) is IT is the home of these....

... and for seasonal variation.... and with Easter Comming.... deep fried Cadbury's Easter Eggs!!!


6:41 AMlink  
Anonymous said...

In Europe a Milky Way bar is *NOT* known as a Mars bar. They are completely different. I've lived both in Canada and in Europe and it's the same candy bars in both places :)

8:10 AMlink  
Anonymous said...

I want the batter recipe and temp. for the oil. And also, what kind of oil did you use

2:21 PMlink  
Frenchcori said...

I'd like to thank you Mr. Damien for the photos and the candid comments. Those of us who considered frying our own candybars are now somewhat satisfied that you, a pioneer in your own right, were so giving, so generous, so selfless in sharing the ultimate experience in fulfilling a life's dream. I humbly bow to your grace and munificence.
-A websurfer passing through

5:28 PMlink  
Anonymous said...

Hilarious. Simply hilarious.


1:42 PMlink  

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