I have ambition. I'm not sure why I have it, I'm not sure why it burns inside me like it does.
When I'm not challenged, when I feel like success is a given and I don't really have to struggle to accomplish my goals, I feel a pressure, a voice in the back of my head that tells me time is running out, my chance to change the world is slipping away. That is a terrible feeling, to feel like not only am I missing my chance, but the world could be little better if only I'd stand up and fight. I feel the regret of my future self looking back on a life where I took the easy path, a life squandered because I was lazy and timid.
And so I find challenges, I push myself, I fight and I struggle. And the pressure goes away. For a little while.
Posted January 14, 2006 11:42 AM